Piccolo Pagliaccio
by gabbygrl247
Summary: This is a collection of one-shots about everyone's favorite clowns and their family. Based off Robbie and Leto's characters but I try to incorporate BTAS personalities if I can! *The title means Little Clown in Italian, a Harlequin clown, which is what Harley is modeled after, was invented in Italy (correct me if I am wrong)!*
1. Chapter 1

Piccolo Pagliaccio

It wasn't that I didn't want kids, I did, I just did not think it was possible after the acid baths Mistah J and I took. The positive pregnancy tests took me by surprise, but what I wasn't expecting was Mistah J's reaction. He was happy, not thrilled but happy; I thought he was going to be furious. Babies obviously don't fit well with our lifestyle. I think the idea of his own prodigy excited him, half of him and half of me.

Morning sickness hit me hard; I spent most days attached to the toilet or a bucket. Puddin' would sit with me at times and hold my hair back, but only when he felt like it; it's the thought that counts right? Since we couldn't waltz into an OBGYN office and we didn't want Batsy to find out, Puddin' got one of his henchmen's wives, who happened to be a nurse, to take care of me. It was easy enough to steal the medical equipment we needed. The first time we saw it I was thirteen weeks along; it looked like an almond. I wanted to find out what it was but Mistah J wanted to wait, saying the anticipation would make it more exciting. I think he was scared that knowing what it is was would make it feel real and he wasn't ready for that.

As I started to get bigger, sleep became harder since I only slept on my stomach; I had a body pillow but it didn't help much. Mistah J almost never slept due to his insomnia but he would lay we me until I dozed off; he would hold me close and rub my back. Once the morning sickness ended the crankiness and aches hit. My back was constantly sore which made me irritable. I took my anger out on the henchman closest to me, but every once in a while, I snapped at Puddin'. As soon as I realized what I did I would break down into hysterical sobs. His anger was always explosive and erratic and even though he tried his best to keep in check during my pregnancy there were a few times he slapped me. He would go stiff and his nostrils would flair, but as soon as he saw the fear in my eyes and my arms wrapped protectively around my swollen belly, he would stomp off angrily. I'd then hear him empty a gun on some poor goon.

The first time I felt it kick I ran straight into his office; I knew he was in a meeting but I didn't care. The scowl on his face disappeared once I placed his hand on my belly and he felt the light tap. He pulled me close and let out a wonderful laugh; the sound was music to me ears. That night he slept with his head on my belly. Once it got to the point where I couldn't see my feet I lost it. How could he still find it attractive when he owned a club full of sexy, half naked women? My nervousness turned into a panic attack and I ended up passing out. When I woke up Puddin' was sitting by my bedside holding my hand. The baby was fine but my blood pressure was high so I was put on bed rest for the last three months of my pregnancy.

Mistah J stayed by my side most days, working in the bedroom instead of his office. I spent most of my time either sleeping or reading the trashy novels he hated so much; he liked to work in silence but didn't seem to mind when I watched cartoons. My back ached constantly and even the hot baths I took didn't help, I just wanted this thing out of me. Red would come by for a few hours every few days, it was the longest her and Mistah J could be in the same place without killing each other. She would paint my toes and tell me what was going on in Gotham.

When my water broke it was six weeks before my due date. The doctor said the baby's vitals were fine and that my early labor was due to stress. Puddin' stayed by my side and held my hand as the contractions hit, the pain worse than anything I had ever felt before. After twenty hours of labor and three hours of pushing, she was finally born; a beautiful baby girl with no hair and big blue eyes. As Puddin' held her in his arms he decided on the name Violet. I stared at him and saw nothing but love in his eyes as he gazed down at our daughter…OUR little Violet.


	2. Violet

Violet

She was absolutely perfect. She had J's crystal blue eyes and my platinum blonde hair. From the second she was born she had her daddy wrapped around her tiny finger. Every time she cried he was up and by her side in a flash, making sure she was not hurt. He would sit by my side as I breastfed, letting her hold one of his fingers in her little hand. I started pumping when she was a month old and from then on he took over her night time feedings; it gave me some much needed sleep and J more bonding time with Violet. Her full name was Violet April Quinn; Violet after her father's favorite color, purple, April after the month she was born, 4:16 a.m. on April 1st, and Quinn, my last name since J doesn't have one. We fought for months before she was born about what to name her. It couldn't just be any common name for our princess. Before she was born I could never imagine J changing a diaper; he didn't change many, but when he did I couldn't help but watch. It was so odd, here was the most dangerous man in Gotham up to his elbow in baby poop.

When she was three months old, Violet got sick. She had a very high fever and a bad cough. The doctor said it was just a cold but I had a feeling it was so much worse. Poor Violet couldn't sleep and when she couldn't sleep neither could I. J wasn't home when she first got sick, he had gone on a business trip to Metropolis. I had called him in hysterics after the doctor left and he came home as fast as he could. I hoped as soon as she was in her father's arms she would settle, but she didn't. She was sick for four more before we called the doctor again. I was a mess and J looked more stressed that I had ever seen him when the doctor told us she had pneumonia and needed to go to the hospital immediately. I was terrified, I didn't want my baby to die, but I knew that as soon as Gordon and the Bat found out about Violet they would take her away from us. The fear in the nurses' eyes all turned to concern when they saw the sick infant in my arms; "Please help her" I pleaded. J and I followed the doctor and nurses as they went to examine her. J promised not hurt anyone, he even emptied his gun and gave them his bullets, as long as they all swore to keep this all a secret, which they all did. They let us stay with her in a private room while Violet laid in an incubator, connected to a feeding tube and an oxygen mask. She was kept in the hospital for two weeks. I spent most day in J's arms as I cried or listened to him tell Violet stories as I tried to sleep. After the first six days I collapsed in the bathroom from a combination of exhaustion and dehydration. I woke up several hours later hooked up to an IV drip. J was sitting in-between my bed and the incubator looking worse for wear; "I can't lose both of you" he choked out. In seven years I had only seen him cry a few times. I reached out to stroke his hair and felt him relax under my touch. We did not hesitate to leave the hospital as soon as Violet was given a clean bill of health. They gave us some medications to give her and let us out the doctor's entrance. J made sure everyone who helped us was left a more than generous tip.

At five months Violet laughed for the first time. I was baking muffins while she sat in her high chair munching on some cheerios. I didn't realize J had come home until I felt something wet on the top of my head…batter. I was red in the face, about to give him a piece of my mind when we heard a tiny giggle. I turned around to see Violet with a wide grin on her face, just like her father's. J ran over and lifted her out of her high chair, spinning her around trying to get her to giggle again; he really did love her. A month later saw her crawling for the first time and once she started the little devil never stopped. If someone took their eyes off of her for a second, they would lose her. She was incredibly fast and liked to hide in small spaces. Now that she was mobile Bud and Lou had started to take more of an interest; she would spend hours chasing them around the penthouse. They were good with her and only growled when she yanked on their tails. J hadn't been too happy to lock up all of his weapons but when she got a hold on his favorite gun, empty thankfully, he agreed it was a good idea. We were planning on introducing her to the family business eventually, just not yet. We had talked about it and agreed that she would get her first weapon, a baseball bat at my insistence, on her first birthday; he had already started the design for it but refused to let me see it.

When she was eight months old I found out I was pregnant again. I did the math and figured out I was only about three weeks along so I decided against telling J for a couple of weeks. I wasn't sure how he would take it, even though he loved Violet I knew he didn't want to be a "family man." All my fear, however, disappeared when I told him; he didn't react as happily as he did when I told him about Violet but he still grinned from ear to ear. The next two months went by and everything was amazing until one night I woke up to horrible stomach pains. At first I thought it was just morning sickness but as soon as I felt the stickiness between my thighs I knew what it was; I lost the baby. My screams startled J out of sleep. He looked furious until I tore the covers away from me and he saw the blood. He yelled for Johnny to call the doctor. I was shaking and sobbing, I had no idea what to do; I felt paralyzed. J got back into bed and cradled me in his arms, rocking me in silence. He knew not to say anything to me. When the doctor came she confirmed what I already knew, my baby was dead. She helped clean me up while henchman changed the sheets and got rid of the old ones and my soiled night clothes. I was exhausted and still in pain so the doctor gave me something to help me out before she left. For the next week I refused to get out of bed except to pee. I just sat in bed and cried while I half paid attention to whatever channel J had put on for me. I had barely seen him; he spent all day in his office and his nights with Violet. I felt like a horrible mother for neglecting Violet but I was too frail to deal with her. I couldn't sleep, the feeling of my baby dying inside of me was still present and the sight of all the blood was there every time I closed my eyes. The doctor had left me some medicine meant for post-partum depression but I didn't take it, J and I hated meds. I felt as though I was in a daze and I didn't snap out of it until J had had enough. I was in bed when Violet crawled over to me and pulled herself up to try to get my attention. J was on his side of the bed working on something for the club. Violet kept grabbing at my long hair when I screamed at her to stop. She stared at me in fear for a few seconds before she started to cry; J had her in his arms in the blink of an eye. He glared at me while he calmly told me to start taking the medicine and get out of bed. I did as I was told and within a month I started to feel better, not my old self quite yet but better.

Violet's birthday was bittersweet. I was sad that my baby was growing up but I was excited for her to get J's present, her own personalized baseball bat. It was the perfect size for her and written in J's own handwriting was "Property of The Joker and Harley Quinn." It was littered with red and black diamonds and a purple jester hat; it was magnificent and Violet loved it. I had dressed her in a frilly purple dress and did her hair up in little pigtails. The only people at the party were Red and Johnny but it was the best party we had ever thrown. Violet was showing off her limited vocabulary, mostly just dada, mama, and up, while J let her toddle around holding his fingers. The cake was Batman's head with a knife in his head. Violet cried while we sang Happy Birthday, she was not a fan of fire ever since she witnessed me almost burn the penthouse down trying to make stir fry one night. J rocked her in his arms while I blew out the candles. She was a total daddy's girl, which I knew he secretly loved. Even Red couldn't deny he was an amazing father, even though she tried her hardest. Later that night after Violet was asleep J and I sat in bed watching the news together. I was filing my nails, not really paying attention when I heard him whisper, so softly that I almost missed it, "I love you Harley-girl." I put my nail file down and nuzzled into his neck, "I love you too Puddin."


	3. Ace and Spade

Ace and Spade

Violet was fifteen months old when I got pregnant again. After a week of non-stop throwing up J decided to call the doctor. I figured I knew why I was so sick but after my miscarriage J didn't want to take any chances. He held my shaking hand as the doctor did the examination, I was so nervous. When she finally did the ultrasound I felt my heart stop as she pointed to the dot on the screen, our baby; actually babies, it was twins. I swear I thought J was going to pass out. I was six weeks along and the doctor ordered me to stay bedridden until I was done with my first trimester; ten weeks of bedrest! J had Johnny set up a bed for me in the living room so I wasn't confined to the bedroom. Violet had started walking about a month ago so I spent most of my time watching her toddle around and play with her shape cube. She was incredibly intelligent and could match the plastic shape to the hole in the cube all on her own. Both J and I had genius I.Q.'s so I knew our children would as well.

J and I had discussed getting a house for a while now. It was well known in the Gotham Underworld that we lived in the penthouse above the club and J wasn't all that liked. He was the most powerful man in all of Gotham and that comes at a price. We had a few safe houses but they hadn't been used in years. J finally decided on an old Victorian that was pretty close to the club yet secluded; he put his men to work on fixing it right away.

The doctor came back to check on me when I was twelve weeks along. She had come by briefly two weeks prior but she only did a quick pelvic exam. I was super excited because we were going to hear their heartbeats and find out what we were having. J didn't want us to know when I was pregnant with Violet but this time I was insistent on finding out. J sat next to me with Violet on his lap and his hand holding mine. I had tears running down my face as we listened to the thump-thump of the babies' heartbeats. When she asked us if we wanted to know the sex I nodded eagerly and felt J's grip on my hand tighten as she told us they were both boys.

Moving day came a month later when my bedrest was finally up. I was still supposed to take it easy so I worked with Violet on her alphabet while J told the boys where he wanted everything to go, his favorite thing to do. It was the first time I saw the place and it was massive! Three stories, ten bedrooms, nine and a half bathrooms, and at least three private acres that J had fenced in so the babies could run around. Our room, Violet's room, and the nursery were on the first floor; the second floor had J's office, four guestrooms, and Johnny's room; the third floor was made into a gym and weaponry floor; the basement had two more guestrooms, a playroom for Bud and Lou, and a theater. The house was absolutely perfect!

After we moved in it took a little while to get adjusted to living in a house. J and I had gotten so used to penthouse living and being right above the club. Violet loved the new house. She was twenty-one months and enjoyed having a backyard and swing set to play with; she made poor Johnny push her on the swings for almost an hour the day after we moved in. I spent most of my days doing yoga while J worked in his office. He had a large window that overlooked the backyard so he could keep an eye on Violet and whichever henchman was watching her. At night, after Violet was put to bed, J would leave for the club and I would spend hours on the phone with Red while we watched stupid soap operas. J was usually gone from ten until two or three in the morning and Red knew I couldn't sleep alone so she would stay on the line with me until he came home or fell asleep, whichever one came first. I wanted to go with him but it was too risky. Only a select few even knew that Violet existed, if some of our enemies found out I was pregnant they could use the kids as pawns or try and take them.

I was six months pregnant when Violet's second birthday came. I had wanted to take her somewhere special with J, like the park or something, but I had woken up that morning with crippling back pain and a horrible headache. It wasn't anything new, being pregnant with twins was a billion times harder than just one baby, but I felt awful. J kept telling me Violet didn't even know it was her birthday, but that didn't help. Instead of the park, the three of us spent the day watching movies and eating pizza and cake; J even stayed home that night to look after me. I wasn't in the mood for any hanky-panky so we spent the night cuddling, something he rarely ever did.

I started having Braxton-Hicks contractions at eight months. They would last about an hour at a time. The first time it happened J was at the club and I called him in hysterics, thinking I was in labor. The doctor explained that they were normal, just my body's way of getting ready for the real thing. Violet was premature so I never got them with her. The pain was horrible and all I could do was try to get comfortable. J ran me a bath and sat behind me while I soaked in the nice hot water. I laid with my head on his chest while he massaged my lower back. It helped a bit but I was still uncomfortable. Because I wouldn't be giving birth in a hospital, the doctor ordered me to strict bedrest to try and keep me from going into early labor like I did with Violet. I was so tired and uncomfortable all the time that I didn't try and fight her on it. I was constantly crying from the pain I was in; J would rub my back but nothing would really help. I just had to let them pass.

I was almost two weeks past my due date when the doctor finally induced me. She wanted to be cautious and wait until I went into labor naturally but I was too miserable to wait. Red had come and taken Violet so we didn't have to worry about her. J and I walked around the house until my water broke, which thankfully did not take long; my long was excruciating but short. I was only in labor for three hours when the first baby was born, his brother following six minutes. I held them both in my arms while the doctor checked them over and let J cut their umbilical cords. He took them from me while I delivered the placenta and handed them to a nurse to be cleaned. We spent the entire night staring at our new little monsters, Ace and Spade.


	4. Three Peas in a Pod

Three Peas in a Pod

When Violet first met her brothers, she could have cared less. They were tiny and loud, not what I think she was expecting. She clung to her father as I laid in bed, a baby in each arm; every time he tried to bring her closer she would yell which caused the boys to cry. When it was time for me to feed them again Violet started to get upset. She had always been a daddy's girl, but when she saw me start to breastfeed she got jealous. J put her to bed while I finished with the boys.

They were identical with dark blue eyes and light brown hair that I am positive will turn a dark blonde in a few months. To tell them apart we had put Ace in a onesie with an A on it and Spade in a onesie with an S on it; we ordered all their clothes specifically when we decided on their names. My favorite tattoo on J was the Ace of Spades he had on his neck, the only one on his body you could see through the strait jacket, besides the ones on his face. The only difference between the two boys was the Spade weighed about two pounds more than his older brother.

The first night after they were born was horrible. I was exhausted and sore from giving birth but I was determined to breastfeed both boys without the help of a pump for the first few months, like I did with Violet. Red stayed over to help with Violet but she only wanted J, who didn't want to leave my side. Thankfully both boys latched on with no problem. As I watched them eat, I started to cry, I was just so happy. I had never really thought about having children, and for a while I didn't think it was even possible, but here we were with three perfect devils.

The first two months were harder than I had anticipated. Spade was diagnosed with colic, or acid reflux, about three weeks after he was born. He screamed all day and night and refused to breastfeed. Once he was put on special formula and given medicine, his screaming ceased and he ate happily. Even though I was still able to feed Ace I felt like a failure. My doctor put me on post-partum depression medication which helped greatly. Violet had warmed up to her brothers in this time. She loved showing them all of her toys but they were absolutely not allowed to touch them; she was a tyrant, just like her father. J started going back to the club after the first month, which left me alone with the kids from about ten to three in the morning. He would put Violet to sleep and help me bathe and put down the boys but they were always up a few hours later to eat. I knew he had to go to keep up appearances or people would start to get suspicious. Thankfully J took note of how tired I was and had our doctor move in with us to help. She was a friend of mine from college that had been with us since my very first pregnancy, well before Violet was born. J paid her handsomely to stay with us and since she was a licensed obstetrician with a background in pediatrics, she was incredibly helpful with the kids; it was also nice to have some female company.

Violet did not like all the time I was spending with the babies so she had begun to act out. At first it was just little temper-tantrums that J and I ignored, especially since we were both know to throw our own, but soon she was writing on the walls and breaking expensive jewelry. Every time I would breastfeed Ace Violet would try to climb on my lap and one time when I tried to move her off she retaliated by trying to kick the baby. J had agreed he would never hit our children, but with this incident we had no choice but to spank her. It wasn't hard but it was enough for her to never to it again. Cecelia, our doctor, suggested that I put a few hours aside a day to be alone with Violet and I did just that. I would paint her nails while we watched cartoons or we would work on her numbers.

When the boys started crawling was when Violet really started playing with her brother. She was a genius like her father and learned that if she tied her stuffed monkey to a stick and dragged it around the house, the boys would follow her. Ace got the hang of crawling right away but for Spade it took a bit longer. He crawled backwards for a few weeks until he could figure out how to go forwards. I was worried at first, J thought it was hilarious, but Cece told me it was normal. I was just happy that Violet had finally warmed up to her brothers.


	5. AN 1

Hey all! Thank you so much to everyone that reads and review this story! I just wanted to let y'all know that I am taking one-shot ideas, so if you have a prompts that you want me to write about just leave a review or PM me! :)


	6. Tragedy Part 1

It had been a month since the chemical bath that I first realized something was off. It had taken a weak to recover from the acid and I had been fine up until now. I had gone from energetic and bubbly to lethargic and cranky. At first, I had brushed it off thinking that all the late club nights and bank heists had finally caught up to me, but soon I was getting sick and throwing up and that's when it hit me. We had had sex for the first time after we got home from Ace, we had fooled around in Arkham but I had wanted our first time together to be special. That night was a haze but I remembered that we didn't use protection. I had been off my pill for weeks and I'm sure J figured that two acid baths had left him sterile.

I was shaking as I held the positive pregnancy test in my hand, so deep in thought that I didn't hear J's quiet footsteps.

"What's wrong Harley-girl?" He asked, his voice soft and soothing.

"Nothing Pud, just tired is all." I said hiding the pregnancy stick behind my back.

I could see that was not the answer he was looking for and before I could stop him he spun me around and yanked the stick out of my hand.

"What does this mean?" He asked lowly.

"I'm pregnant." I replied quietly.

He stared at me for a minute before throwing the stick away and storming out. I collapsed on the floor crying, how could I have been so careless? I had never really wanted kids before and my new lifestyle had only increased that notion. I grew up practically raising my brother while my dad rotted away in prison and my mother drank her sorrows. I don't know how long I was on the floor, I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up again I was tucked into bed. I knew J hadn't been home since his gun was gone so it must've been Johnny or Rocco who moved me, I would have to thank them later.

It was a couple days before J came home, bringing my old friend Cecilia with him. I had mentioned during one of our sessions that my college roommate had gone to medical school and he must have sent one of the boys to find her.

"Check her." He barked out to her before sitting down on his side of the bed.

She was shaking a bit but stopped when she saw how tired I looked.

"When was the last time you had your period?" She asked me.

"Two months ago, I think, everything has been a whirlwind and my memory is getting a little shotty." I replied.

"Did this happen before or after?" She asked, pointing to my bleached skin.

"After." I told her.

"I'm going to have to do a pelvic exam since I don't have any equipment with me." She said. "I'll give you a minute to get ready while I wash my hands."

She went into the bathroom while I took my panties off and covered my lower half with the blanket she gave me. I looked over at J to see he was staring at her bag. He had been quiet since he got back, which was unusual for him.

"I'm sorry Mistah J." I whispered.

He took my hand but didn't say anything. I lied back when Cece came back out and cringed as she performed the exam.

"Well you are definitely pregnant," she told us, "I'd say you're about three or four weeks along. I'll leave you a list of vitamins and my phone number. You won't need another checkup for a month. It will be helpful to have some ultrasound equipment for that one."

I sat quietly in shock while Johnny escorted out; J ordered him to go get the stuff on the lists she gave us.

"Are you mad?" I asked him timidly.

"Yes." He replied. "You have one job Harls and you failed; now we have a brat to take care of."

"I was on the pill, the chemicals they must've done something." I stammered out.

"No excuses Harley." He told me. "If batsy brings his brats to work than so can I. You will stay home with it until I see fit, I will not lift a finger you understand."

"Yes sir." I replied. "Mistah J I'm scared."

"Don't be pumpkin." He told me.

By month three of the pregnancy I was done with it. My morning sickness was so bad that all I could do was stay in bed all day; I wasn't even able to sleep! I would get cluster headaches from the constant throwing up. J didn't really spend much time with me, he was too busy plotting for his next run in with Bats. It had been four months since he had seen him last and he was getting antsy.

Ever since my first sonogram J had been very distant with me, only coming to the room to shower and change; that was a month ago. Harleen was in the back of my mind constantly telling me to leave. Mister J liked to take out his anger on me, what would he do to a baby? I was usually able to shut her up, but ever since getting pregnant the voices were getting worse. I had had enough, it was time to talk to J.

"Puddin." I croaked out, knowing the goon keeping watch of me would go get him.

"What." He yelled, stomping into our room.

"I can't make her stop." I cried.

"Try." He replied gruffly

"She keeps telling me to leave you Pud." I told him.

"Harleen?" He asked. "Just push her away."

"I'm so tired, can you lay with me? Please?" I asked him.

He sighed, took off his jacket and sat down beside me. I latched onto him with my head against his chest as he rubbed his hand up and down my back. I woke up to the sound of the bath running and the smell of matzo ball soups, my favorite.

"How long was I out?" I asked J.

"I'd say eight hours. Johnny got dinner, you need to eat something." He told me.

I sat up and took the soup from him. I hadn't eaten in a while and the taste was heavenly. I finished the soup and made my way to the bath, it was just what I needed.

"Thanks Puddin." I said as I laid against him.


	7. Tragedy Part 2

I started decorating the nursery once we found out it was a boy. J didn't want anything to do with it so I got to make all the decisions myself. The idea of having a baby began to grow on me the past few months and the second I felt him kick I knew I was in love. J healed completely a week after his fight and had begun plotting his revenge on Penguin who he had figured out squealed on him to bat-brain. He didn't tell me what his plan was but he told me it went perfectly; I later say on the news that there had been a "kitchen accident" at the Iceberg Lounge and the building had all but burned down. Since his plans had gone perfectly, J started to spend more time with me. We would spend hours in bed, goofing off or just holding each other. He still went down to the club every night, but he spent his days with me.

"You know he needs a name Puddin." I said one afternoon.

"Then pick one." He growled.

"He's your son too." I croaked out. "You could pretend to be happy."

J let out a sigh before turning me over so I could look at him.

"Harley, I told you before that I don't mind an heir, I just don't want anything to do with it now, that is your job," he told me, "but if it'll shut you up I'll tell you if I like the name or not."

"Thank you Pud!" I cried as I threw my arms around him.

"This can't be comfortable for you Pumpkin." J said.

He was right, as of lately my belly was getting in the way; it was huge! Cece said it looked so big because of my petite frame but I knew she was just saying that to make me feel better.

"I'm a whale." I said with a frown.

"I like it." J told me, kissing my neck. "I like seeing you swollen with my heir, it shows everyone that you are mine."

"I made some cookies for you boys." I sang as I placed a plate of cookies down.

J had a meeting downstairs at the club about some renovations and I decided to play wife and surprise him with a treat. J had said that I was allowed to come downstairs as long as the club was closed and he was there.

"Thank you, Miss Harley." Rocco said.

"Isn't she a peach?" J said as he pinched my cheek.

"I know you boys can work for hours without eating and I didn't want you starving to death on my watch." I told them.

I sat on the couch quietly sipping on an iced tea while J continued his meeting. I had begun to nod off when I was roughly pulled down to the ground by J. He held me close as hundreds of bullets flew by us. I held onto my belly, hoping the shooting would stop soon.

"Send men out!" J barked at someone.

Some of the boys that were down here were shooting back.

"It's a drive by Boss." I heard Johnny shout.

I started to cry and J tightened his arms around me.

"No tears Harls." He whispered in my ear.

When he was sure the shooting was done, he had Rocco and Johnny get us upstairs safely. I felt an odd feeling in my groin and let out a gasp as my water broke in the elevator.

"No, it's too early, I still have two months!" I cried.

"Call the doctor here now!" J ordered.

"It's too early, it's too early." I chanted.

J grabbed my face so that I was staring into his eyes, "Pumpkin I need you to stay calm. I know I've never said that before but I need you to stay calm Harley."

I nodded, unable to speak as a contraction hit me. J let me squeeze his hand as I waited for the pain to pass. When we got up to the penthouse J and Johnny took me to the bedroom and helped me change out of my wet clothes.

"I don't want to get in the bed, I'll ruin the sheets." I cried.

"I'll get new sheets Harley." Johnny told me.

"Where's the doctor?" J asked irritably.

"I'm here, it's a mess out there." Cece said, running in. "How are you feeling Harley?"

"It's too early." I cried.

"I know sweetie." Cece said soothingly. "You're four centimeters dilated; I'm going to do an ultrasound to try to figure out what is going on."

I held J's hand in a death grip as I looked at my son on the screen but something was wrong.

"Where is his heartbeat?" J asked Cece.

"I am so sorry but there is no heartbeat, he's stillborn." She told us.

Time seemed to stop; my chest felt tight as I let out a heart-wrenching scream. I could feel J trying to comfort me but I didn't care, my baby was dead.

"Why?" I heard J ask.

"I don't know. It could have been stress, it could have been the acid, it's hard to tell right now." Cece replied. "Harley, if you want we can do a C-section. I know a birthing center not too far from he with the equipment, you have plenty of time."

"No. I am giving birth here." I choked out.

"Then at least let me give you something for the pain." She said.

"No!" I shouted.

"Out." J told her.

"I'll be back in a little bit to check on you." She replied.

J didn't say anything, he just held me in his arms as I cried. I knew he never wanted this baby but I could tell he was hurting too.

"Ooh." I moaned as I felt another contraction hit.

"Doctor." J barked.

"Contraction?" Cece asked as she came back in with some water. "Here honey, you need to stay hydrated."

"How much longer?" J asked her.

"I can't tell you anytime for sure. She's not even half-way dilated so it is going to be awhile." She told him. "Why don't I run you a bath Harley? It'll help with the pain."

I nodded my head as I snuggled into the pillow. J had taken up pacing while Cece filled the tub so I had the bed to myself.

"It's all my fault." I mumbled.

"Don't Harls, don't blame yourself. If you want to blame someone blame Penguin, he's the one that shot up the club with you in it." J told me.

"I should have stayed up here." I replied.

"The bath is ready." Cece said.

J helped me up and into the bathroom. Cece checked to make sure I was comfortable before leaving me and J alone.

"Can you come in with me?" I asked him.

He let out a tired sigh and did as I asked; I lied back against him for hours, squeezing his hands as my contractions got worse. Cece stayed in the bathroom with us, coaching me and refilling the tub when the water got cold. When it was time to push J and Cece helped get me comfortable in bed.

"Okay Harley, when you feel the next contraction I am going to need you to take a deep breath and push as hard as you can." Cece instructed me.

I did as I was told, screaming through the pain. I squeezed J's hand as hard as I could, feeling it brake; he didn't even wince.

"I'm so sorry Puddin." I cried.

"Sh Pumpkin, it doesn't hurt." He told me, kissing my sweaty forehead.

It felt like I was pushing forever and I was about ready to give up when Cece told me he was close.

"His head is out Harley, I just need you to give me one more big push." She told me.

"I can't." I cried. "It hurts."

"Harley, I've seen you take down men three times your size. You can do this Pumpkin, you've made it this far." J told me.

I mustered up all the strength I had left and gave on final push. When he was born, there was no crying, just silence. Cece cleaned him up before placing him in my arms.

"I just want to let you know that he doesn't look like a normal full-term baby." She warned us.

"He's beautiful." I said as I gazed at my son.

"I'm so proud of you kiddo." J told me.

"I want to name him Joker Junior, J.J. for short." I told him.

"Have you thought of any burial plans?" Cece asked us.

"Give us a minute." J told her.

She helped me deliver the placenta before leaving the room; I had let J hold the baby for a bit. It was crazy but I was already so attached to my son.

"He would've been a handsome boy." J tells me, placing J.J. in my arms.

"I think he's perfect." I said softly. "I failed as a mother, I was supposed to protect him and I couldn't."

"I failed too Harley. I should have taken you to a safe house the second we found out but I didn't. What's done is done and there is nothing we can do about it." J told me.

"I want him buried next to my grandmother in Brooklyn. She was the only one that loved me." I told him.

J called Cece in and relayed what I told him.

"Harley, the more time you spend with him the harder it'll be to let go." Cece told me. "I've already spoken to a mortician who will get his body ready. You can pick out an outfit to bury him in."

I didn't want to hand him over, I wanted to hold him in my arms forever, but I could hear Harleen in the back of my mind. I gave J.J. one last kiss before handing him to J.

"Good-bye son." He said.

Cece took J.J. and left before I could change my mind and take him back.


	8. Bud and Lou

AN: Thank you to all my new followers, I love you all so much! I would really appreciate if y'all could leave me a comment when your done reading, just to let me know what you think and what you want to read!

Bud and Lou

It had been three months since we lost J.J. and things had started to go back to normal. I had started taking post-partum depression medicine right after his birth and got back to the gym once I was cleared. J and I went back to our normal routines after a month, him in his office most of the day and me spending time in the gym or reading in J's office. He made sure none of his henchmen touched the nursery so sometimes I would like down on the plush carpet beside his crib and cry.

When J went on his first heist since the birth he left me at home. I was angry he had left me, but I figured it was for my safety; I had lost muscle mass during the end of my pregnancy and the medication I was on delayed my reflexes and made it hard to concentrate too long. I had fallen asleep before J got home and woke up feeling something wet on my face. I opened my eyes to see a small, mangy looking mutt on my chest.

"What the hell!" I yelled.

"Do you like them?" J asked me, putting the other one on the bed. "I found them in an alleyway last night and felt they could really use a mommy."

"What are they?" I asked, letting the pup on my chest sniff my hand.

"Hyenas. I had a vet come by earlier and give them all their shots." J replied.

"Poor babies, left all alone." I said to them in a baby voice.

"They need names." J told me.

"You pick, you're the one that found them." I said.

"Alright, Harley, meet Bud and Lou." He said proudly.

"Hi Bud, Hi Lou, I am your new mommy." I told the pups. "Thank you Mistah J."

"Anything for you Pumpkin." He replied with a kiss on the lips.


	9. First Holiday Part 1

First Holiday

Ace and Spade were four months old when Thanksgiving came around. I loved the holidays and got J to agree to play normal and host Thanksgiving dinner this year. I never really celebrated the holiday until I started dating Guy in college and since this was our first year as a family of five, I wanted it to be super special. When J and I finally got our revenge on Waller we got her to release Shot, Croc, and Boomer. I got close to June Moone after Midway City; she and Flag were the only higher ups that knew about the kids.

"Why did I let you talk me into this?" J asked me as he helped feed Violet her breakfast.

"Because you love me." I replied.

"More like because you forced me." He mumbled. "Just promise me you won't try and cook."

"Of course not Pud, that's why we have a chef. Besides I am way to bust decoratin." I told him.

Once I was done feeding the boys, I put them in their swings and started on the table. I had some of J's lackeys pick up decorations at the store for me and I was pleased with what they got; I had circled the items in the magazine for them of course and had them send me pictures of everything before they bought it.

"Mama up!" Violet said, clinging to my leg.

"Mama's busy Vi, why don't you draw a picture for Aunt Ivy?" I suggested.

"That thing is not related to my spawn in any way." J growled.

"Red!" Violet squealed.

"Be nice Puddin! Why don't you go work on your plans for Bat-brain? Violet, baby, go color." I ordered. "I want today to be perfect, it is our first holiday as a family."

"And I should care why?" J asked.

I turned around angrily to see him grinning like the Cheshire cat with Violet in his arms.

"Kidding." He said. "You wouldn't hit a guy with a kid in his arms, would you?"

"That was low Joker, real low." I replied.

I was able to get the rest of the table set before Ace and Spade woke up from their nap.

"Oh my sweet boys, are you hungry?" I cooed at them. "Mistah J can you feed Spade for me?"

I got Ace latched on by the time J got down. Spade was in hysterics, but he calmed down the second he got his bottle.

"I can feed him now Pud if you need to get back to work." I told him.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I needed a break."

"Where's Vi?" I asked him.

"Johnny's with her in the playroom, I wanted to make sure she stayed out of your hair." He replied. "Did you finish setting the table?"

"Why Mister Joker, are you making small talk with me?" I said in my Harleen voice.

He snickered before placing Spade in my open arm. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong but closed it when I saw him open the fridge. Neither of us remembered to eat when we were working so it made sense he was hungry.

"You hungry Pumpkin?" He asked me.

I nodded and watched as he made two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I always found it funny watching him doing mundane tasks, him being the King of Gotham and all, but he obviously had a point in his life when he didn't have henchmen waiting on his every need; besides, who doesn't know how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? He took Spade back and handed me my plate.

"Thanks Mistah J, breast feedin makes me super hungry. Most likely cause this little leech is sucking all the nutrients out of my body." I told him.

As much as I hated that I couldn't breast feed Spade in the beginning, it made my life a whole lot easier; I had a hard time sitting still for too long and breast feeding two babies was a lot harder than just one. When Ace was done and burped, I took him into my office with me to print the menus and place cards for the table. J thought I was going a tad overboard but I couldn't help it, I was so excited!

"Are you excited big boy? Mama's excited love bug." I cooed at Ace.

He gurgled and kicked his feet in response. He was obviously too young to talk but I had a feeling he could understand me.

"Eh, good enough." I replied.

"You're crazier than I thought you were." J said, taking the baby and putting him in the play yard next to his brother. "I need to step out for a bit Pumpkin."

"But Puddin it's a holiday!" I cried.

"I'll be back in an hour, maximum. I just need to grab some papers from the club and I don't trust any of the boys to do it." He told me.

"But everyone is comin' in like two hours and I was hopin' that we could have some sexy time before I have to get ready." I whined.

"Harley-pie, we can have sexy time when we get back." He replied.

"Fine." I said with a pout.

He kissed my forehead before heading out of the office. When I had everything all printed out and set-up, I had to give the kids a bath and get them ready.

"Johnny!" I called. "Can you change the boys into the outfits I laid on the changing table while I get Violet ready?"

"Of course Miss Harley." He said.

"No bath." Violet said as I filled up the bath.

"Yes bath, don't you wanna look pretty tonight?" I asked her.

She put up a little fight until she saw the pink bubbles in the tub, then she decided that she wanted a bath. She splashed around with her toys while I washed her thin hair.

"Kitty." Violet said, pushing her rubber kitty into my face.

"I see that puddin pop." I told her.

"Harley!" I heard J call out.

"I'm in Violet's bathroom." I replied.

"Dada!" Violet yelled.

"Yeah, daddy's home." I said.

"There are my girls." J said from the doorway. "Where are the boys?"

"Johnny's changin' them." I told him. "Can you tell him to feed them when he's done? I have some milk for Ace in the fridge. I have to finish with Violet and then I have to get myself ready."

"Of course Pumpkin." He replied. "It looks great downstairs."

"Thanks Puddin!" I said.


	10. New Family Member

New Family Member

For as long as I could remember, Violet was obsessed with cats; the night she was born J gave her the little stuffed kitty that I had given him back in Arkham. For a few weeks last year, she only wore shirts with pictures of cats. Now, she was four and pestering us for a kitten.

"Daddy, I want a kitty!" She told J over dinner.

"Meow." Ace yelled.

"That's right, cat's saw meow." I told him.

"No more animals Violet, I've already told you that." J told her.

"Please Daddy!" She whined.

"I said no. Don't make me send you to your room." He told her sternly.

"Listen to Daddy Violet, besides, you have Bud and Lou to play with." I added.

"I hate you Daddy!" She yelled, running upstairs.

J went to go after her but I stopped him.

"No Puddin. She needs to cool down. She doesn't hate you, she's just upset." I told him. "I am going to put the boys to bed. Why don't you go to your office and I'll meet you there?"

When I had the boys down, I went over to Violet's room to check on her.

"Violet, it's mommy." I said. "Can I come in Puddin Pop?"

"Ok." She replied.

She was lying in bed, playing on the IPad J had gotten her for her birthday. She'd taken off her dress and changed into mismatched pajamas. I could tell she had been crying.

"Princess, you said some mean things to Daddy at the table." I told her.

"Daddy's mean." She said with a pout.

"Just because he said no doesn't make him mean." I replied. "Do you really hate Daddy?"

She shook her head as tears started to roll down her cheeks. I held her in my arms until she fell asleep. When she was out for good, I went to J's office to find he was gone.

"He went out with Johnny, said he'd be back in a few." Rocco told me.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Violet shrieking. I shot out of bed so fast that I tripped over a pair of shoes.

"Crap! Ouch!" I yelled.

"Easy there Pumpkin, Violet just found the present I got her." J told me as he helped me of the floor.

"Oh Pud, you didn't." I replied.

"Mommy, Mommy look at my kitten!" Violet yelled, running into room with a black fluff ball in her arms. "Thank you Daddy! Thank you, thank you!"

"Princess do you have anything else to say to Daddy?" I asked her.

"I'm sorry Daddy, I don't hate you. I really, really, really love you." She said to J.

"I know Princess." J said, kissing her forehead. "Do you know what you want to name her?"

Violet thought for a second before bursting out, "Fluffy!"

"That's a great name Violet." J told her.


	11. First Holiday Part 2

"Look how adorable you are!" Red exclaimed, picking Violet up.

"Red!" Violet squealed.

"Hiya Ivy." I said. "You're early, I haven't finished getting ready."

"Oh don't mind me Harls, I'll just catch up with this one here." She told me.

"Thanks Red." I replied.

She stayed downstairs with the kids while I went back upstairs. J was in the bathroom, fixing his already perfect. He was shirtless, giving me a view of his perfect body; it made me so self-conscious. After having three babies, my body had started to show it. My breasts and ass were bigger than before and my hips were without a doubt wider. J wasn't complaining though and neither was I.

"It's not polite to stare Pumpkin." J said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry Puddin. Red is here, she's down with the kids." I told him.

He let out a growl, the kid he saved for when I spoke about Ivy. I let out a chuckle before sitting at my vanity to finish my makeup.

"I feel like my face is rounder, does it look rounder to you?" I asked J.

"Harley, you had two babies four months ago," He replied, "I think you look great."

"You're just saying that because you know if you don't I won't have sex with you tonight." I said sarcastically.

"Is that my lipstick?" He asked, taking the tube out of my hands.

Before I could reply there was a knock at the door.

"Enter." J said.

"Sir your guests are starting to arrive." Johnny said.

I threw on my shoes while J put his shirt on, as slowly as he possibly could just to piss me off. Huffing, I grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the room and downstairs.

"Daddy!" Violet squealed, running at him.

"Look at you Princess, you clean up nicely." J replied, picking her up.

I grabbed Ace who was beginning to fuss and went to see who was here; it was Floyd and Zoe.

"Don't you know it isn't cool to come to a party on time? You should always come at least twenty minutes late." I told them.

"Hello to you too Harley." He replied. "This the new one?"

"One of em', we got twins." I said.

"He's so cute!" Zoe exclaimed.

"Wanna hold him?" I asked her.

"Can I really?" She replied.

I put Ace in her arms and watched as she cooed over him. I could see Floyd's uneasiness with his fourteen-year-old daughter with a baby in his arms; I let out a laugh.

"He is so cute! How old is he?" She asked me.

"Four months. This is Spade." I told her, taking the baby from his swing.

"Wow they're identical." She said.

"Lucky you; and here I thought normal was just a setting on the dryer." Floyd told me.

"Please, this ain't normal. As soon as I get myself back into shape and the babies get a bit older, it is back to the club and back to raisin' hell." I replied. "Puddin come say hi to Floyd and Zoe."

"Hello Mister Joker, your kids are so cute!" Zoe said to J.

"Eh thanks." He replied. "Deadshot."

"Joker." Floyd said.

"Men." Ivy scoffed. "Harls can I help you with anything?"

"Ha, Pammy you act like Harley is doing all this work. Why do you think we hired cooks?" J told her.

"Don't call me that!" Ivy yelled at him.

"They'll go on for hours, if you are thirsty or anything just tell Giggles what you want, he's got an apron with a smiley face on it." I told my Floyd and Zoe.

"Is that really his name?" Zoe asked me.

"Hell if I know." I replied.

"Wanna see my toys?" Violet asked Zoe as she shimmied out of her father's arms.

Zoe nodded and handed Ace back to me before following Violet upstairs.

"Not gonna lie dollface, you make cute kids." Floyd told me.

"I do, don't I?" I replied. "How's life on the outside going?"

"Not too bad. Got myself a job at a shooting range. It's not great but it pays the bills and keeps the bat off my ass." He told me.

"You sold out? Ha!" J teased him.

"I went straight to give my daughter a better life, something I should have done a long time ago." Floyd said angrily.

"Come on boys, let's not fight on Thanksgiving. It wouldn't be fair to all the turkeys that were killed." I said.

I heard the doorbell ring and ran to the door, after handing the boys to J. I swung the door open to reveal Flag and June, a baby carrier in Flag's hand.

"Hiya guys, come on in." I said. "Why hello Alison, she got so big!"

"She'll be a year in a few weeks, how are the boys?" June asked me.

"Oh, you know, if they're not sleepin then they're cryin and if they're not cryin they're suckin my boobs dry." I replied. "Everyone is in the livin room."

"Who's everyone?" Rick asked me.

"Well Ivy's here and Shot and his daughter." I told him. "We also invited Boomer and Croc, not many people know about the kiddos and we plan to keep it that way. I wanted to invite Harvey but him and Ivy don't get along well and she and J already fight."

"Harley!" I heard J yell. "You need to change your sons."

"They're your sons too asshole." Ivy yelled at him.

"It's her job to take care of them." J told her.

"See what I mean? Let me take them upstairs, you be nice." I told J.

"I'll help you." Ivy told me.

I took the boys and we went up to their room. I loved Ivy but I knew her coming with me meant that she was going to bitch about J the whole time, which she did. By the time we got downstairs again I needed a drink; luckily I had enough milk pumped that I could. The boys were content in their swings and Violet was playing with Zoe. Both Boomer and Croc had come while I was upstairs.

"Dinner is ready Miss Harley." Johnny told me.

"You make them call you Miss Harley?" Boomer asked me with a laugh.

"No, he does." I told him, nodding towards J. "Dinner is ready so please take your seat."

"Harley this looks so nice." June said, motioning to the table.

"I just always loved Thanksgiving. I was a gymnast growing up and it was the only time my mother ever really let me eat." I said.

Dinner was incredibly enjoyable. We had Johnny taking care of the boys so I could enjoy myself; I got to sip wine and talk to adults. The chef J had gotten was phenomenal. Violet had all but fallen asleep at the table so Zoe took her to her room, leaving the adults alone.

"How's normal life?" Boomer asked me.

"Far from normal, we are still being hunted by Maroni." I told him. "As soon as I am back to my old self I'll be able to leave this place."

"Is that why we were driven here with bags over our heads?" Croc asked.

"Can't have your big mouths telling people where we live." J said snidely.

I giggled and leaned my head on his shoulder. I hadn't had a drink in a while so the two glasses I had had went straight to my head.

"Johnny I think it is time for our guests to be escorted home." J told him. "This one needs a nap."

"I'm not sleepy." I mumbled.

Ivy was staying the night and Rick and June had gone home a little after dinner. Boomer and Croc did not look happy about being handled again but let the boys do what they needed. J carried me upstairs, setting me on the bed before changing me into my nightgown.

"Thanks for lettin me have my party Puddin, I love you." I said sleepily.

"I know kiddo, go to sleep." He told me.

He got into bed next to me and held me close as I closed my eyes and went to sleep.


	12. The Flu

In our entire relationship, I had never seen J sick, but that was before kids. I had read in college that because their immune systems were so weak that they got sick often, which meant parents did too. Thanks to Ivy's shots, my immune system was solid, even pregnant, but J's wasn't. At first it wasn't anything too big, just a stuffy nose, but one morning I woke up to see him throwing up in the toilet.

"Just as my morning sickness ends yours begins." I joked. "Jesus J you're a furnace! I need to take your temperature."

"I'm fine." He croaked out.

"You must've gotten the bug Violet had last week." I told him, sticking the thermometer in his mouth. "Don't move, I'm gonna get ya some water."

For once he didn't fight back. When I got back I took the thermometer out of his mouth and gave him the bottle of water.

"102.5, you have the flu. Get back to bed, you are not going anywhere today." I told him.

"You need to leave, I don't need you getting sick too." He replied.

"I won't Pud, don't worry. You need me take care of you today." I said.

I helped him get to bed and under the covers. J never let me help him so I knew that he really must not feel well. I sat down next to him, wiping his sweaty forehead with a wet cloth. He leaned his head against my pregnant belly and let out a soft purr. I loved when he let me cuddle with him; even though he would never say it I knew that he loved it too. Since Violet had just gotten over her bug we kept her out of the room, spending the day with Rocco. I had sent Johnny out to get soup, saltines, and Gatorade but J couldn't keep anything but water down.

"How you feelin Pud?" I asked him.

"Like hell." He mumbled.

He turned away from me and let out a loud cough. When he was done with his coughing fit, he snuggled back into my chest. I stroked his hair as we watched cartoons. He wasn't able to sleep due to his insomnia, so we talked instead.

"I wonder what they're going to be." I thought out loud.

"There are only three options Harls." J croaked.

"What if they're both girls? If they are then we will have three daughters. Can you imagine?" I asked him.

"Three daughters, what a nightmare!" He joked.

"I guess a joke means you're starting to feel better. One of them is sitting on one of my organs funny." I told him.

"Does it hurt?" He asked me.

"Not really, it is just really uncomfortable." I replied.

"I still can't believe I kept you and now we have kids." J said. "It's just so…mundane."

"Oh baby, there is nothing mundane about you." I told him.

He was able to fall asleep shortly after and I decided I would take a bath. I hadn't had time to myself in a while so it would be nice. The water was scolding, it was heavenly; I was so in my own world I hadn't heard J come in until I heard retching.

"Oh Puddin, you poor thing! Why don't you come in here when you're done?" I suggested.

He moaned in response, too sick to respond. When he was done, he brushed his teeth and joined me in the tub; he laid back with his head against my breasts. I rubbed his shoulders and kissed his neck.

"That feels nice Harls." He said. "That feels really nice."

"I'm glad I can help Puddin. You were so great to me when I was pregnant with Violet and now with the twins, I want to help you in any way I can." I told him.


	13. Hyena Training

Hyena Training

We had had the babies for five months when J decided it was time to train them. Since hyena clans were headed by females, we decided that I would train them. They were still babies and I didn't want to push them too hard, but after Lou chewed up a pair of my Dior boots, I figured it was time. Stocked with enough steak to feed a small village, I locked myself with the boys in their play are and begun their training.

"Okay Buddy, sit!" I ordered.

He looked at me funny before charging at his brother.

"No Bud, heal!" I screamed.

To my disbelief, he actually stopped, looked at me, and sat.

"Good boy baby!" I praised, handing him a piece of steak. "Sit Lou."

Lou stared at me for a second before sitting. I handed him a piece of meat. I continued on with them for a few hours, going on simple hours. They were pooped by the time we were done and so was I. I left them passed out and headed upstairs. J was sitting at the table, eating a steak.

"Ugh, I am never going to be able to eat red meat again." I groaned, collapsing into the chair next to him.

"I had Giggles cook you a grilled cheese." J told me. "How did the boys do?"

"A lot better than I thought they would. Bud picked it up a bit slower than Lou, but I think I did a good job." I replied. "I'm so tired Puddin, I don't think I'm gonna be able to come down to the club tonight. I just wanna eat my grilled cheese and pass out."

"You can stay upstairs tonight but don't make a habit of it Harls." He told me. "Now go to bed."

"My legs don't work." I whined.

"Use your arms." He said.

I let out a pained moan as he got up and headed downstairs to his office.

"Jerk." I mumbled.

The next few weeks went by in a blur. I spent the majority of my days with the boys, teaching them commands as simple as roll over to as difficult as get mommy's pistol. J had decided that they were finally ready to be put to work. We had gone on a heist and brought them back a present; a hostage. J had him tied up in the torture room (one of my favorite rooms in the building). I brought the boys up and had them sit quietly while J decided what he wanted them to do.

"Bud, right leg!" J ordered.

Bud growled before jumping at the man. He screamed when Bud bared down on his right calf.

"Good boy Buddy!" I praised him. "Mommy's so proud of you!"

"Lou, balls!" J commanded.

"NO! Dear God no!" The man cried.

His please turned to ear-piercing screams as Lou crunched down on his junk. J ordered them around until there was nowhere new left for them to bite down.

"Mommy's so proud of her babies! Who's the sweetest babies? You are!" I cooed at them.

"Good job boys." J told them. "I'm proud of you Harley, you did good."

"Thanks Mistah J! But it's really the boys you should be proud of." I replied.

Bud and Lou sat happily, chewing on their new favorite toy.

AN:

This is for DonnaJosse, love you girl! Please R&R


	14. Violet's Fifth Birthday

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS LEMONS! IF ANYONE IS UNCOMFORTABLE, YOU CAN MESSAGE ME AND I CAN UPLOAD A VERISON OF THE CHAPTER WITHOUT ANY!

Violet Turns Five

Life was good. The heat between J and Boxy had died down, which made J much happier. He spoiled me and the kids with gifts, got me the best champagne at the club, and spent his days playing with the kids. Ace and Spade seemed to take up their father's love of making people laugh. Violet used to love pulling pranks on the henchmen, but now that she was almost five she was no longer a little kid, her words exactly. She was incredibly mature for her age; she would sit with J for hours, listening to his stories and learning about the different types of blades and their uses. While most parents would be against their young child learning about ways to kill someone, I encouraged it. Even if she decided that she didn't want to be a criminal, I still wanted her to know how to defend herself, we did live in Gotham after all. She had her baseball bat and a small mallet that she had gotten for Christmas the year before; I spent hours with her in the training room, teaching her how to use the weapons properly. She had a good swing but got bored easily.

Now that she was turning five, it was time for her to start school. J was didn't want her to go to school, he wanted her to be homeschool where he could keep an eye on her, but I could hear Harleen in the back of my mind telling me that Violet needed to be in a school environment, surrounded by kids her own age. Cece had offered to give Violet her last name and address to register her for school. J wasn't happy, but he begrudgingly agreed as long as we sent her to the best private school in the area; money wasn't an option. Even though school didn't start until September, and it was the end of March, Violet was so excited.

"Mommy can I have pony rides? I wanna ride a pony!" Violet asked me. "And I want a huge bouncy castle."

"You can have anything you want for your party Princess." I told her.

"I want a pink cake too! I want it to be super big so we can have cake for breakfast forever. I also want to have lots and lots of balloons!" She exclaimed. "Can we get a small bouncy castle for Ace and Spade? They are too little for a big bouncy castle."

"That is a good idea Violet, you are such a good big sister. How about a big bouncy slide?" I asked her. "Would you like that?"

"I love it Mommy!" She squealed. "I can't wait to tell Daddy!"

I let out a sigh, J had been gone for two weeks. I told the kids that he was away on business, I didn't have the heart to tell Violet the truth; he was in Arkham. The stupid Bat had caught him when he was at the club one night. I had stayed home, taking care of Ace who had gotten a bad cold. Johnny and the boys had a plan ready to go, they were just waiting for J's signal. Thankfully the security at Arkham still sucked.

"Mama I'm hungry!" Spade cried.

"You just ate lunch Puddin Pop, do you want some milk?" I asked him.

He nodded and lifted his arms up. Spade was such a mamma's boy; I loved it but J thought I coddled him too much. He snuggled into my neck as he drank from his favorite purple sippy cup.

"Mommy is Daddy going to be home for my birthday?" Violet asked me.

"Of course he is Princess." I told her. "Daddy would never miss your birthday. Why don't you pick out a movie and we can have a lazy day?"

"Thomas! Thomas!" Ace chanted.

"We are going to watch Cinderella then we can watch Thomas Acey." Violet told her brother.

"Okay Vivvy." He replied.

Ace couldn't pronounce Violet when he started talking so we taught him to call her Vivvy, which he could easily say. He was a little behind in his language skills but it was nothing to be alarmed about.

I opened my eyes groggily, feeling the bed dip; I saw a blur of green and squealed.

"Shut up Harley! I want to try and get some sleep before the kids wake up." J whisper yelled at me.

"Oh Puddin I missed you so much!" I cried, holding on to him.

"Why don't you show Daddy how much you missed him?" J said seductively.

I smiled slyly as I slid down the bed; J was naked and rock hard. I slowly moved my hand up and down his length, adding some pressure when I heard his breath hitch.

"Yeah Pumpkin, just like that." He moaned.

Cupping his sack in one hand, I put the other on his hip as I wrapped my mouth around him. He fisted my hair, moving my head to a rhythm he wanted. Out of nowhere he flipped me around so my hips were hovering over his face, my mouth still around him; he knew I never slept with undies on. I moaned around him as I felt his tongue circling my clit.

"Oh fuck yeas Daddy!" I cried.

Not too loud Pumpkin." J told me.

He shoved two fingers in me as he nipped at my clit. I couldn't fit all of him in my mouth so I moved my hand up and down his base. He let out a chuckle against me, moving his fingers as fast as he could.

"Oh God yes! Don't stop Puddin, please don't stop!" I screamed against him as I came.

"Lay back Harls." He told me.

I laid back against the pillows, still coming down from my orgasm. J captured my lips in a passionate kiss as he plunged into me. It had been two weeks since we had last had sex and he was making up for it. He went at a rough pace, pumping in and out of me as fast as he could. I raked my nails down his back, not able to do much else.

"So good baby." J moaned. "I missed you so much Harley-girl."

"I missed you too Mistah J. It feels so good, don't stop Daddy." I cried as he hit my g-spot.

He moved one of his hands in-between us, rubbing furiously at my clit. I came almost immediately, yanking his hair. J bit down on my neck as he emptied inside of me.

"That was amazing Puddin." I said breathlessly.

"It always is Harls." He replied.

He kissed my forehead before heading into the bathroom. Sex after Arkham was always the best. When we were away from each other for so long, when we got back together it was explosive!

"How has everything been here?" J asked me as he got out of the shower.

"It's been so busy! Violet has been super excited planning her birthday party. Ace has been cray, drawing all over the walls and throwing toys in the toilet. Spade has been working really hard on his reading a lot, he is getting really good!" I told him excitedly. "They all missed you so much J, I mean Violet asked me when you were coming home at least three times a day if not more."

"I never thought I would be a family man but I have to say I missed them too; thinking about them kept me from killing everyone in the hellhole." He told me. "And of course I missed revving up my Harley.

He told me about his time away until we heard a knock on the door.

"Mommy." I heard Violet say.

"Come on in baby." I told her.

She ran into the room ready to tell me something, but stopped in her tracks once she spotted J. I huge smile spread across her face as she ran into his arms.

"Daddy!" She screamed. "Daddy your home!"

"Of course I'm home, do you really think I would miss my princesses birthday?" J asked her.

"I'm five today Daddy!" She exclaimed.

"Yes you are Princess." He replied, kissing her temple.


	15. Fighting Lesson

Fighting Lesson

"Listen to me very carefully Violet, you need to grip the bat tightly because if you don't the bat will fly out of your hand." J told Violet.

Up until now I had been in charge of Violet's training but because I was newly pregnant J decided it was best if he took over. He usually preferred knives or guns to the baseball bat but he sure as hell knew how to kill using just about anything. We had just moved into our new house and were taking advantage of the ginormous backyard. Violet was eighteen months now and was ready to learn now that she was able to stand for long periods of time without falling over. She loved her baseball bat; J had made it specially for her, she loved it so much that she even slept with it.

I sat in a lounge chair, soaking in the sun while I watched the two of them. Thanks to the acid bath I had no pigment in my skin to tan or burn. J was never gentle with anyone, except for Violet. She was such a daddy's girl, just like me. She loved J so much and he truly loved her too.

"Dada I do." Violet said as she swung the bat. "I did, Mama I did!"

"I saw baby, good swing." I told her.

"Very good Princess." J told her. "Now try and hit my hand."

He held out his hands, which were covered with gloves. I watched as she swung the bat, but instead of hitting his hand she hit him square in the junk.

"Son of a bitch!" J yelled.

I couldn't help but laugh, watching a guy get hit in the nards was hilarious. Violet thankfully wasn't fazed by J's yelling, laughing along with me. J shot daggers at me, sitting down.

"Daddy up!" Violet shrieked.

"Daddy needs to sit down for a minute Princess." J told her.

"Ouchie." Violet said. "Sorry Dada."

"That's alright Princess." J said. "It's not as much pain as you caused Mommy when you tore out of her."

"Mistah J! Come here Violet, let's let Daddy have a few minutes, he's a big baby." I told her.

She climbed into the chair with me and laid her head on my chest. Even though she like J better she did love to cuddle with me. J wasn't very affectionate, unlike me.

"I hit Dada." Violet told me.

"I know you did, you did a good job baby." I replied.

"Stop filling her head with crap Harley." J told me. "I am not a baby."

"Daddy's getting mad." I said to Violet.

"Uh oh." She said with a giggle.

 **Thank you so much to everyone that reads and enjoys my story! I work really hard on these stories and put my heart and soul into it so it would really mean a lot if y'all would review and tell me what you think! I read Fanfiction too, my favorites are the Wicked Series and Toxic Love, and what we do as writers is purely for our readers. I don't need a paragraph, just a smiley face or a few words would really make my day!**


	16. Broken Bones

Broken Bones

I was convinced that the terrible twos were never going to end; Ace and Spade were insane and that was coming from me. At three, they were literally climbing up the walls. They seemed to be constantly egging each other on…and J loved it. He lived for hectic and as much as he loved Violet, she had become quiet and calculated. At five, she was more interested in school and her training, like I was at her age. I had started teaching her gymnastics and she absolutely loved it.

J was in a meeting at the club and Violet was at school, leaving me alone with the boys. They were currently running around the house, naked and screaming. I had learned early on to leave them be, so I was on the couch enjoying the new book Johnny had picked up for me. It was incredibly boring being stuck at home with the kids but ever since J's last stint in Arkham, we had been trying to keep a low profile. It was hard for us, especially J, but the thought of never seeing the kids again was terrifying. J still made sure he was raising hell in the underworld, selling guns and occasionally coke.

"Rawr! I'm a monster!" Ace shrieked.

"I'm gonna getcha!" Spade yelled.

Unfortunately, their shrieks of laughter soon turned to cries of pain. I sprinted into the kitchen, where the cries had come from, to see Ace lying on the floor holding his arm to his chest and crying. All it took was one look to tell that his wrist was broken. I held him against my chest as I grabbed an ice pack from the freezer.

"My poor baby! It's okay, Momma's got ya, I'm gonna make it all bettah." I cooed at him.

"What Harley, I'm busy." J snapped at me over the phone.

"Puddin Ace broke his wrist, ya need to come home and bring a bone doctah with ya." I told him. "Here Ace talk to Dada."

"Ouchie Dada." He cried to the phone which I had switched to speaker.

"Don't worry son, I'm coming home now." J said.

I sat on the couch with the boys, Ace on my lap with his head buried in my chest and Spade had his head on my thigh. Rocco had gotten some children's Tylenol to help Ace with the pain, thankfully he had a pretty high pain tolerance. The ice and medicine calmed him down enough to take a nap.

"Harley!" J yelled.

"Living room." I told him.

He came in a second later followed by a trembling man, the doctor I assumed. I shook Ace awake and sat him down on the couch.

"No Mama!" He cried clinging to me with his good arm.

"H-he can stay on your lap." The doctor said. "It'll be easier if he's m-more comfortable."

J sat down next to me, taking Spade in his lap. The doctor looked at Ace's arm and immediately confirmed what I already knew, it was broken. Thankfully the man was smart enough to bring the materials needed for a cast. Ace had calmed down and was even excited to choose the color of his cast; green like his father's hair. The doctor gave us some medicine for the pain before J took him back; well if we're being honest he probably killed him.

"How are you feeling baby?" I asked Ace as I tucked him in bed.

"I'm tired Mama." He said softly.

"Does your arm still hurt?" I asked him.

"Kinda." He mumbled.

"Goodnight Ace, I love you." I said.

"Love you too Mama." He said sleepily.

I kissed his forehead before heading over to say goodnight to Spade who was already asleep. J was tucking Violet in so I decided to take a nice hot bath. I felt all of the day's stress melt away as I soaked in the tub. Seeing one of my babies in pain was horrible, I felt so helpless. J walked into the bathroom just as the tears began to fall.

"Harley what's wrong?" He asked me.

He kneeled in front of the tub, wiping the tears from my face.

"What do you mean what's wrong? Ace broke his fuckin arm, that's what's wrong. I coulda stopped it. They were runnin around the house and I coulda made them stop and color or somethin. But no, I just sat on the couch readin a goddamn book. I am a horrible mother!" I cried.

"Pumpkin, they're boys, they're going to run around the house and they're going to get hurt. Remember when Violet got sick and we were in the hospital for weeks? You made yourself so sick with worry, you can't do that again Pooh. Kids do stupid things, just like us, you can't save them all the time." He told me.

After four weeks Ace's cast was taken off. The second he came off he ran outside with his brother and sister and played on the swing set for hours. He wanted to save the cast, god knows why, so I put them on a shelf over his bed. Boys.


	17. Harley's Hospitalization

When did I go soft? I had never cared about anything before but now as I stared at my dying wife, I suddenly felt scared. It started out as just a minor cold. She was four months pregnant so all she could do was rest. All three of the other kids, parasites sucking the life out of me were at school, giving Harley all the time alone she needed. After a few weeks, her minor cold turned into a sinus infection. The doctor gave her some medication and hooked her up to an I.V. since she wasn't able to keep anything down. I still wasn't worried until Violet ran into my office one day, hysterically crying.

"Daddy, daddy, Mommy won't wake up! I kept nudging her put she wouldn't move!" Violet cried.

I ran into the room, suddenly terrified. Her chest was still rising and falling, indicating that she was still alive, but when I tried to nudge her she wouldn't open her eyes; I shook her roughly but nothing happened. I yelled at Frost to get a car ready and gently carried her downstairs to the garage. The drive to the hospital was eerily quiet. I kept my hand wrapped around her wrist to keep an eye on her pulse. I ran out of the car with Harley in my arms when we got to the hospital and gave her to the first nurse I saw.

"She won't wake up…she's pregnant."

It wasn't long until the Bat arrived. He found me sitting alone in a private waiting room that one of the nurses let me wait in. They were terrified of me but I unloaded my gun to show I wouldn't hurt them as long as Harley was being helped.

"Joker." He said deeply.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this Batsy. She was just a way out of Arkham but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get rid of her. I tried to leave her to drown in the vat of acid but I couldn't and from then on, she had me trapped. I never thought I would be a family man Bats but now, now I'm living the American Dream; three kids at home, one in the oven, and a wife at home that greets me every night with a scotch and a kiss. Where the hell did I go wrong?" I ranted.

"You have kids?" He asked me quietly.

"That's all you have to say? I sure am disappointed Batsy. Violet's seven, she's the oldest, my princess; she looks exactly like her mother and is just as deadly but she's got my brains. The twins are five, identical boys, Harls named them Ace and Spade like my tattoo, she said it's her favorite; those boys are the apple of their mother's eye. Ever since J.J. died she wanted a boy and she got two." I mused. "She loves those kids to death, possibly more than she loves me."

"The doctor said she'll most likely be fine." He told me.

"Then what Bats? Are you going to arrest me at Harley's bedside?" I asked him, my tone mocking him.

"As much as I hate to say it, no, you haven't done anything to be arrested for in the past few years and now I know why." He said.

"I almost missed my princess' birthday the last time you got me. The first few days were nice, I hadn't had any quiet time to myself in years, but after a week I realized I missed those pests, and my Harley-girl, dear god I missed revving up my Harley. When I got home, I realized that it wasn't worth it, for now at least." I told him

We sat in silence until the doctor came in. He told me that Harley was stable and that she and my daughter were doing fine. Her cold had turned into pneumonia and she was too weak to fight it on her own.

"My daughter?" I asked him.

"Oh, oh I'm sorry Mister Joker I didn't realize you didn't know." He stammered.

"Take me to her room." I ordered him.

She looked so…peaceful. There were tubes connected in her nose, to help her breath the doc said, and so many in her arms. She was still asleep so I pulled up a chair and held her hand in mine. Batsy was still here, lurking in the corner.

"Pud." Harley whimpered.

"Sh, don't move Pumpkin, I'm here." I told her.

"Where?" She asked me.

"I needed to take you to the hospital, you wouldn't wake up." I explained. "Violet found you, she was scared shitless."

"Baby." She said, touching her stomach.

"It's fine." I told her shortly.

"My head hurts." She whined.

I pushed the button to call the nurse. They gave Harley something to help her head and to help her sleep. Frost came after a little while and brought the kids. Bats was still here, much to my dismay. I guess he had to meet the kiddos one day. Ace and Spade ran right to their mother but Violet stayed in the doorway.

"Violet." Harley said to her.

She shook her head as tears ran down her face. I let out a sigh and took Violet out of the room into the private waiting room from before.

"Princess what's wrong?" I asked her. "Why don't you want to see Mommy?"

She wrapped her arms around my neck, crying into my chest. I knew why she was scared, she had thought Harley was dead.

"Is Mommy going to be okay?" She asked me.

"She's going to be fine Violet. I'm sure she would feel a lot better if you would go visit her." I told her.

"Who was the big man?" She asked once she had calmed down.

"That my angel was Batman, Daddy's best friend." I explained.

A week went by and Harley was finally able to come home. The kids worked all day on a sign that read "Welcome Home Mommy!" It was the kind of crap I usually hated but I had to admit it put a smile on my face. The past week had been hell on Earth; raising three kids alone was horrible. Someone always needed something. Sure, I loved the little pests but after a week of no Harley I couldn't take it anymore. Harley was still on bedrest for another two weeks but at least she could help the kids with homework and keeping them occupied. I knew I took her for granted, but I would never tell her that. Deep down I knew that she knew I needed her, more than I would ever care to admit.


End file.
